10 things you should always do before sex if you want to have an orgasm

In theory, having sex is easy. You find someone you like, make sure that person likes you too, and consensually have at it.But in reality, sex often comes along with more complications than many people would think. And some of these complications have much to do with what a person does before sex, rather than just during sex.But just what, exactly, are those things' INSIDER talked with two sex therapists,Isiah McKimmieand Vanessa Marin, to figure out the things you should always do before having sex.Make sure there is clear consent."Having really clear consent is so important. It's easy to assume that it's a given, but I never want anyone to forget about it," McKimmie told INSIDER. "You need consent about what feels good for each person, what they're willing to do, what they're not willing to do."This is vital for individual personal safety and comfort during sex, as well as a better experience for everyone involvedand itshould be an open discussion that happens throughout sex, not just beforehand."Communicate with your partner with what they like, don't like, and what kind of sex they are in the mood for," McKimmie told INSIDER."You can also ask if there's anything out of bounds, which gives them a sense of permission to vocalize anything they might not be comfortable with."Learn how to orgasm on your own.If you want to have an orgasm while you're having sex, it's a good idea to figure out what actually makes you have an orgasm."Learning how to orgasm on your own first is probably the best way to be able to have one with a partner," Marin told INSIDER.Not only will this help you figure out what needs to happen in order for you to have an orgasm, it should make it easier for you to talk about with your partner."Being able to talk about your orgasms and what you need to feel pleasure with your partner is so important,"Marin told INSIDER. "Because a lot of women go into sexespecially heterosexual womenexpecting that it's just supposed to happen."Obviously, this isn't always the case, which can make sex disappointing if you don't know what you really need.Get checked.Another thing that will help make your experience better is getting tested regularly."It's not really a sexy thing to talk about, but it can help put both people's minds at ease," McKimmie told INSIDER.If you're having heterosexual sex, another important thing to consider is birth controlbut you can't rely on the pill or an IUD alone to have truly safe sex."It's important to remember that just because you're on birth control, that doesn't mean you can't contract an STI," McKimmie told INSIDER. "So make sure that you're getting tested regularly and being prepared in terms of safer sex practices. All of those things can help us feel more relaxed and just enjoy the process."See the rest of the story at Business Insider
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