The INSIDER Summary:Bullying expert Jim Jordan stresses that kids who are being bullied will want to stay at home.Parents will also see their children's grades dramatically drop.The kidsmight have trouble sleeping and will seemmoody and detached.If you suspect that a child is being bullied, you should go to their teacher and ask them to keep a special eye out.Bullying isn't anything new. It's been around for years, and in the pastthere wasn't a whole lot being done about it. In recent years, there hasbeen legislation put in place all over the country and schools have started anti-bullying campaigns to get the conversation started and the issue under control, but there's still a lot to be done.That's why so many schools bring in anti-bullying experts like Reportbullying.com President Jim Jordan, who has been talking about bullying with various crowds for over 20 years. He's written four books on the subject'two for children and two for adults ' has helped countless schools take action when it comes to bullying, and most recently, he talkedwith INSIDER to help us understand more aboutbullying and how to spotit.One of the most important things Jordan shared was that the effects of bullying last a lifetime."[People who get bullied] never forget about it. It's something that really goes on," he said. "Neuropyschologistshave found that the same area of the brain that registers the pain from a broken bone is the same area of the brain that registers the pain from social exclusion. Because it's in the same area of the brain, not only does it hurt, they seem to never forget it."Unfortunately, bullying isn't always so easy to spot which makes preventing it that much harder. It's even harder to prevent when kids don't speak up about it, but luckily, there are a few signs that might mean achild is being bullied.Here are a fivethings Jordan suggests looking out for:They refuseto go to school.They want to stay inside the house, especially on weekend. "They don't want to go out and play with friends. Or you might see that in the classroom where they'll go up to the teacher and say something like 'Oh, can I just help clean up around the classroom' or 'clean up the chalkboard' because they don't want to go outside during recess because that's where the bully is."Their personality changes. "They become quiet, theywithdraw, or get very moody," Jordan said.They bow out offamily activities due to depression oraren't sleeping well.Most importantly, their school grades dropdramatically. "When someone's being bullied for a long period of time, this is when fear comes in, and when fear comes in this is the only thing [they]can think about," Jordan said. "And because that's the only thing that's on [their]mind, the stress that occurs from being bullied, the teacher starts to teach and the words go right through one ear and out the other."If you sense that your child or another child is being bullied, there are important actionsto take.If you notice grades dropping, go to a teacher."Go to a teacher right away," Jordan said. "The teacher may come back to the parent and say 'Oh, she hasn't been doing her homework assignments that's why,' or 'She just failed on this one test and dropped her mark,but she has a few more tests and can bring it back up to the B or A average.' If the teacher is going, 'I don't know whats going on either,'keep an eye on her or him and see what's going on."And ask the teacher or principal to keep an eye out, too.If your child does speak up or you start to noticethings, make a list of each time your child has been bullied."When the child comes home and says they're being bullied at school you have to do the'who, what, where, when, why, and how' and [you]have to demonstrate that it's been done repeatedly before you even go to the school and use that word 'bullying,'" Jordan explained.Technically, itisn't bullyingunless there isan imbalance of power, intent to harm,and, most importantly, it is repeated.Lastly, work with the school ' not against it."This is a community problem not a school problem' it happens out in sports, in our communities, in the workplace," Jordan said. "People need to work with the school and not point fingers at the school."Join the conversation about this storyNOW WATCH: A $2.5 trillion asset manager just put a statue of a defiant girl in front of the Wall Street bull
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