Dear Lazy Mother in the Grocery Store,I saw you.Lunchables' Really'I heard your kid whining for popsicles. I saw you reach into the freezer and ask which type.As you left the store with your too-big kid sitting in the cart, asking a million questions, I saw you close your eyes and take a deep breath before saying, Just because. Thats just how it is. You didnt even give her a real answer.I saw you. I see you.I am you.There is a pervasive assumption that mothers should be on at all times. It seeped into the collective unconscious and became fodder for the shaming and judging of the dreaded mommy wars.As the imperfect beings that we mothers are, when we make a mistake we should definitely keep it to ourselves. And if we do decide to share it with the world, it had better come served with a heaping side of remorse and personal growth.When I wrote my essay, Dear Mom Who is Totally Screwing Up, I meant it to be a dose of reality. A note of solidarity to every mother.Of course, the internet being the internet, I was given the antidote to my failures. Stop being so damn lazy. I turned into the neurotic mix of mad, sad, defensive, and indigent that plagues writers who dare to read the comments.Im not lazy! Im tired! Im overwhelmed! Im Im oh, OK, Im lazy. Sometimes.Heres my moment of what passes for personal growth: Im fine with that.I have decided my goal is not to be less lazy, its to be lazy better.I am multi-tasking my laziness into excellent childhood experiences.Truth be told, many of the most awesome memories my daughter has are probably a direct result of me being a little lazy.The other night she planned a party in my honor. For no reason, other than the fact that she happens to think Im sort of the best. The extravaganza ended with her giving me a pedicure in the hallway.I lay back on the floor, put my hands behind my head, and enjoyed this great bonding experience. Really, I was just very, very tired.The time she played in the mud at the edge of the lakecovering herself hair-to-toe and pretending to be a sea monster' Its true that I am generally pretty easy-going in regards to that sort of play, but I knew I would regret it when it was time to hose her off. Still, I decided to let future me deal with the mess.My toddler decided to turn the dogs water dish over, so I put a towel down and handed him some cups, spoons, and a newly-full bowl of water. Im sure hes learning valuable skills. I just wanted to cook dinner.When anxiety grabs hold of my brain, I tend to turn into the no monster, squasher of all things fun because they might make a mess and oh my god please dont pull out the paints right now.When I can let go and surrender to the laziness of Ill deal with this later, it leads to some of those childhood experiences I know they will remember fondly for the rest of their lives.Tomorrow me thinks Im awful.My kids never have to know that the kitchen concoctions and ensuing mess happened because I was just hungry and didnt want to get up.Who hasnt played the game of who can be quiet the longest or lets pretend Im sick and youre my doctor. Ill just lie here while you fix me up'Look, there is always room for improvement. If you think there is not, then you are probably twice as wrong. Sometimes I am burned out and my lazy comes out in ways that are less constructive. The because I said so ways.The rest of the time laziness and creativity meld together like the blue playdough and the red playdough that I was too tired to keep separate.Someday, after I am long gone, I imagine my son saying, Remember that time Mom let us draw on the house with chalk'His sister will smile and add, Remember all the glitter'So, maybe I am lazy sometimes. And maybe thats OK.***Originally posted at rhiyaya.comRhiannon Giles is an overwhelmed mother who only occasionally considers giving her children to the circus. She has a sarcasm problem and writes regularly at rhiyaya.com. To keep up with new posts and see some of her favorites, join her on Facebook and Twitter. -- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
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